


i’m here if you need a shoulder to cry on (or just to sit in silence)

by zimnokurw



Series: buddie by zimnokurw, unrelated one-shots [8]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Caring Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, but i guess it could be read as established if you squinted, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimnokurw/pseuds/zimnokurw
Summary: Buck loses someone on a call, but Eddie is there for him.prompt: Eddie kisses Buck's birthmark and curls
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: buddie by zimnokurw, unrelated one-shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759828
Kudos: 148





	i’m here if you need a shoulder to cry on (or just to sit in silence)

**Author's Note:**

> short and soft;

Losing someone you met on a call is always hard but even more so when you’re actually there by their side and you can see them slipping away but there is absolutely nothing you can do simply because time isn’t on your side. Buck has been trapped with the woman who needed medical attention ASAP and tried to do everything in his power to keep her alive until the paramedics got there, until _someone_ could reach them, but the woman could feel that it was the end. Buck was ready to start lifting the bricks with his bare hands and just hope that the broken structure doesn’t collapse on the two of them, but Amelia asked him not to, she just asked him to sit there by her side because she didn’t want to die alone. So he grabbed her hand in his own and he assured her that she wasn’t alone, that he was going to be there with her to the end – and then, she’ll finally see her husband who passed away over two years ago. He watched her take her last breath and smile at him softly, assuring _him_ that it’s okay, and then her heart stopped beating but Buck didn’t let go of her hand. 

Eddie found him still holding the woman’s palm and with tears on his face. He laid his own hand on Buck’s arm and softly whispered that he’s got him, but the firefighter didn’t even look away from the woman’s pale knuckles when his body leaned into Eddie unconsciously. His knees almost gave out and he would’ve collapsed when he was trying to stand up, if not for Eddie catching him. They stayed silent, the rest of the team glancing at their youngest with worry and concern written on their faces but they didn’t try to talk to him. There weren’t any words that could miraculously help him smile and brush it off, so they just let him sit down in the rig and look out the window with empty eyes, staying quiet for the drive back to the firehouse.

When they arrived, getting out of the truck, more silent glances were sent Buck’s way but only Eddie stayed by his side. He didn’t even protest when Diaz guided him towards an ambulance, softly saying that they needed to take care of the wound on Buck’s left wrist, to make sure it’s nothing severe and that there won’t be any infection problems.

Buck sat down on the ambulance stretcher, looking down at the open wound on the outside of his wrist like he only just noticed that his skin was torn apart and there was blood already starting to clot. In the meantime, Eddie grabbed everything he would need and then closed the back door to the ambulance to give Buck some privacy, in case anyone wanted to stick their head in and either start a conversation or stand there awkwardly. Eddie stayed quiet himself, giving Buck the freedom to think over what he just experienced or be the one to start the conversation if he’ll actually want to talk about it. Eddie knows that if this was him, he’d just nod his head at whoever was talking to him without actually listening to the words. He knows that after going through a trauma you need to be ready and willing to listen or otherwise it can even worsen the situation.

The wound was actually quite small but he still washed and disinfected it to remove all the dirt that managed to sneak in there. He handled it with every bit of care he would use whenever Christopher hurt himself, gently using direct pressure to evaluate the swelling and control the minor bleeding that started again now that the wound was being worked on. When that was taken care of, he carefully wrapped the wound using sterile dressing and while putting away not-needed cloth strips he noticed a single tear traveling down from Buck’s eye and breaking his heart at the same time. He wanted to reach out and wipe that tear away, but instead, he grabbed a bandage because even though Buck’s wound was minor enough, they still had over three hours till the end of the shift and it would just be easier for him in case they got another call. Eddie secured the dressing with the bandage but making sure it wasn’t too tight, not to interfere with blood flow to healthy tissue. Then, he taped the bandage in place and after checking circulation in the area below the wound, he put every piece of equipment he took, back in its places.

“You’re alright, _Amado,_ ” Eddie whispered in a soft voice while taking the blue, medical gloves off his hands. Buck finally looked up at him, gratitude in his eyes even though his face was still mostly impassive. Like he felt too much and was too scared to show it.

Eddie sighed, because he was there, and he took a step closer, burying his now-gloveless palm in Buck’s hair, running his fingers in the way he runs them through Christopher’s mess of curls after a nightmare.

“There was nothing I could’ve done.” Eddie heard a hoarse voice. “She was dying and there was nothing I could’ve done besides holding her hand.” Buck continued, tears threatening to spill once again and before Eddie could think better of it, he lowered his head and he pressed a kiss of comfort above Buck’s left eye, his lips landing on the man’s pink birthmark.

“You’ve done more than you think,” Eddie whispered, running his hand over the back of his best friend’s scalp, and he felt Buck’s hands around his waist. The blonde’s face crushing into his abs, so he just hugged him back, as much as he could in this position, his head staying low and pressing another kiss, this time to Evan’s short curls. “She needed someone to be there for her and you were,” Eddie whispered once again. “She didn’t want to be alone and thanks to you, she wasn’t.” 

Buck looked up at Eddie, his hands relaxing a little from where they were squeezing the Latino’s waist and Diaz took that moment to sit down on the ambulance stretcher right next to his best friend, making sure their arms were pressed against each other.

“I just held her hand,” Buck repeated his own words while leaning into Eddie once again.

“And that was the strength she needed,” Eddie answered, wrapping his arm around Buck’s shoulders and pulling him in closer. 

Buck let himself be manhandled and laid his head down on Eddie’s torso, and thanks to the silence in the ambulance he was able to hear Eddie’s heart beating through his chest. “She wasn’t even scared.” the man frowned, Amelia’s soft smile flashing before his closed eyes. “She was...” he searched his mind for a word.

“At peace?” Eddie offered, and Buck wrapped his right hand around the man’s waist once again, needing to hold him close.

“Yeah.” Eddie’s palm run in circles on Evan’s back, in such a soothing gesture it almost made him want to sleep. It probably would if the vivid memory of what happened wasn’t still in front of his mind. “She said that she’ll finally see her husband,” Buck added, wondering if she truly managed to reunite with her high school sweetheart who died of cancer or if there’s just darkness when you die but then, before you can even notice the darkness – it swallows you and you fall into dreamless and forever sleep.

“And now she’s at rest,” Eddie said, bringing Evan back to reality, and pressing his cheek into his best friend’s hair.

“You really think so?” Buck asked quietly, too quietly maybe, but considering how cuddled up they were, he hoped Eddie could hear him.

“I really do.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> wrote it in one go during a cold sunday just now, torn between needing a hug and not wanting to see one single human being; sorry for any mistakes, didn't check it


End file.
